Melbourne is a big city . We know this because we spent 7 frigging hours driving in it's friday rush hour traffic yesterday ; a bass drum here , a guitar amp there ...
So I was prepared when I had 45 minutes to get to the gig and my cab driver seemed a little outfoxed by the address. So it goes a little sumpin' like this ;
Turn right down Chuch st ....... past Bridge road and left on Victoria ....all the way down past the Salvos where Trio and me bought the fedoras ( Royal Stetson ! $20 , nae bad )....right on Hoddle ...up to the Eastern Highway ....head west ... that becomes Princess which becomes Cemetary West .....loop da loop ... right on Royal Parade....that turns into Sydney Road and up there on yr right is the Retreat Hotel . $24 .
Dang . We should move back to LONDON and do THE KNOWLEDGE .
It's a mad mad mad mad mad world .

It must be the fifth week of a tour when nobody can drag their ass downtown to use FREE tickets to see THE NEW YORK DOLLS . How tired can you be ? If only to hear Showdown Tonight ( or what ever it's called ) . Only two OG's left ? Big deal . That's better odds than some 70's bands . Look at THE FALL .

There is always something around the corner ... especially an off the cuff gig . Tonight , at the Espy in Melbourne , not so tight . The band , like Warren Zevon said , " was Purfect ! " .
And we did wish we could meet his tailor ( Mick ) ..

Winging our way ...

... around OZ

Brisbane is a cool city . Has some money by the looks of things . Great looking skyline with tall , slender towers on the banks of the serpentine Brisbane River . It may have just claimed the title for this tour of Australia , but it ain't over yet . We just flew back to Sydney ( and boy are our jokes tired .. ). Two good shows with The Augies and Guy Webster at The Zoo , a sweltering upstairs warehouse across the way from the Brunswick street mall in the Valley . Man , we've got ' pizza corner ' in Halifax and on sunday morning around 2 am it's an absolute hell hole but it doesn't hold a candle to the full on mass public debauch that was the Fortitude Valley ; New Orleans before the flood but after the good music left town . Enough t and a and shorts and sandals and ambulances for the most reluctant innocent bystander . Not that we had any problems . There was a bit of a stare down from a group of alley cats on the way back from sushi , but as soon as The Elk rounded the corner alongside Augie soundman Paul the Big Bastard , all eyes went to ground .
Last night , sunday night , The Emergency again ventured across the Brisbane River to the Fortitude Valley and rocked The Troubadour . Everyone was a little fried , our tour manager Geoff working us like dogs , but we all had wrung dry fun . Local alt. country rockers Halfway opened the show nicely .
Next is a solo show for Joel ( thank christ ) tomorrow and a days recovery then back to Melbourne for shows at the Espy , The Retreat Hotel , Ruby's Lounge , and The Rob Roy .

Melbourne ; phase one of the Melbourne experience is over but we'll be back next week . We have just flown into Brisbane and are heading out to soundcheck shortly . And somebody resembling Elle MacPherson just sat down beside me in a bikini . So , y ' know , Brisbane seems nice . Oh , there's a problem with the jacuzzi thing . Better go help out .

Right , Melbournia ; beautiful city with the longest beach this side of Rio . Two shows at the Corner Hotel with Augie March went as well as any band can be expected to rock the opening spot . That was up until Joel's amp destroyed itself during Maybe and we finished the set all drum and bassie with the maraccas just a pumping .
The tram cars remind you of Toronto , only much prettier, and my money is running out ... more soon .

Ok so , Melbourne seems like a dream to me now ( song reference ? ) .; we all spent a day ( mostly window ) shopping over the river down in south Yarra , all posh shops and cafes . Lot's of dough in Melbourne . We passed by the Ferrari and Lambourgini dealerships and eventually the street toned down a touch . There Chris and Joel oohed and ahhed over insanely priced guitars .The Elk's two new basses in Halifax we're much less than down here . So we got that going for us .... which is nice . I found not one but two pairs of awesome jeans for $15 at a Sally Ann- meets-Paris Hilton sorta habedasherrie.
We later partied down on Bridge street and then back up Richmond Hill to our So-like -Fawlty - Towers -Hotel and down the other side to Swan street and the gig .
But now we are in Brisbane . Brissie . Bris Vegas . Both bands had a nice late night stroll over the Story Bridge last night .
We must be living in a bubble but every Aussie city seems nicer than the last . Clean , modern , styish , but still got a dirty ass pub and dog track vibe . It's a cool country . Get down and get with it

For all you awesome Aussies........................................ Triple J is now playing Nowhere With You and they want to hear something from you . So ,

request the toon at http://abc.net.au/triplej/requests/make_a_request.htm

photo Corrin Donelly

Two best sets of the tour to date ; rocking at the Metro with Augie March and then packing up and whipping down to the beautiful Vanguard ( kinda of like the muppet theatre ) . Rockin' Sarah Mcleod and Mick Skelton , the one armed hand drummer , opened the Vanguard show with a stylish ass kicking .

Must have been something in the air because both shows saw the band at it's finest . Maybe We Should Just Go Home is slipping free of earths surly bonds and getting right cosmic ( comic ?) . I guess staying up youtubing JIMI HENDRIX and PHIL ESPOSITO until 7 :45 am is good for the soul .The rhythm section showcased some of it's best work to date and Joel was burning it up like leaves in his own back yard .
With both shows done , gear packed away and fatigue sweated out , it only seemed right to head down to Kings Cross and check out some great players at The Iguana ------with an increasingly frisky Elk one car behind chucking bottles of water at us , bellowing the whole effing way . Kids .

Off in the morning to Melbourne .
No sleep til Hammersmith !
And today we are calling this place Hammersmith . G' day and g' night .

We are just back from the Metro gig in Sydney with the Augie March ,. Sold out show and all that .
Million Dollars really rocks . Ian McGlagan roolz .

Here's a performance by THE BEST rock and roll band at the moment .http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=VPKim0zSVPU

Unidentified Canadian pow shows off junglemade ' perdy music box ' in this undated photo .AP

A long late night drive back from Newcastle and the UNI show with Augie March . It's not the heat , it's the 5000% humidity . The po 'ol Emergency came off the stage looking like drowned ratz , pretty much destroyed .

Good guys , the Augies . We all getting along nicely . Except the drummers ; they share the same name but the similarities stop there . Oil and water they are . They argue constantly about trivial things like the Pacific being a greater ocean than the Atlantic . Jesus ! What's the point ? Everyone knows the Atlantic is a mightier ocean than the Pacific .

The gig tonight is at the Brass Monkey in Cronulla , co- owned by Emergency Australian road manager / impresario /record mogul , Geoff Trio . It is Geoff's palace that is serving as HQ for the EMERGENCY whilst in Sydney . We call it the Sicilian Pavilion ( Sarah has another name for it though ) . It beats the hell out of any hotel with it's house full of characters , a salt water swimming pool , and constant marathon viewings of Arrested Development . A fella could get used to this .
But with 6 shows in five days and then travel to Melbourne for a whack more in a row we will have paid for our wicked ways .

When not travelling one enjoys the time and spends it as freely as one chooses . In this case , climbing out of the pool , poncing about as Noel Coward and sampling the local gin and tonics .

A much needed day off for Australia's favourite Joel Plaskett Emergency cover band . Two gigs with Alex Lloyd and his fine band at the The Basement in Sydney concluded last night . Of course we had to bump into , probably , the only ( ice ) hockey manager from Melbourne at the show . Mike's bringing his son out to the gig next week at The Espy and even though he's a Leaf's fan ( how can you go so wrong so far away ? ) we look forward to partying down . Go Melbourne Jets !

AMY WINEHOUSE ........................................... while you're waiting for the release of the new EMERGENCY album ASHTRAY ROCK , do yourself a favour and check out the great new album by this here lady .

We almost lost the ELK last night . Thought we had a medical Emergency on our hands . He turned quite pale , sank to his knees and couldn't focus . I gave him a wet face cloth and told him to stick out his tongue , Plaskett went for the insurance . Should we drive to the Emergency or call an ambulance . Boil some water !

Hang about ... what are those beside him ... crumbs ?

Turns out he was just high . Watch out fer them mull muffins .

Back in Sydney for a couple days recovery from the Tassie adventure . Flew in yesterday via Melbourne . Came right over the harbour and above the Opera House ( which apparently has gigs or something ) .
Looking towards the friday show down the coast in Bulli ( bull eye ) at the Heritage Hotel . Plaskett and Marsh damned the torpedoes and sharks and took a dip at the beach there last week . More of a flop in the surf really , two white stick men challenging everything Darwin stood for , but the optics were great . Soon as we figure out bluetooth we'll get up some pics .

If you're in Canada , the new tune ' Snowed In ' has gone to radio so don't hesitate to call up and request it .

Hobart , Tasmania , rules .

The Emergency kicked off the Aussie Tour 07 at the Republic Bar last night , opening for our new pals , AUGIE MARSH . Good gig all round . The locals were unsure , curious but hesitant . We pleased to introduce ourselves with Happen Now . That got their attention . Then hit 'em with Work Out Fine . We were all pals now . By the time Maybe We Should Just Go Home spasmed to a mind-bending ending , we were honourary Tasmanians . And proud to be so .
More of the same tonight . And now , a monday spot has been added for the Emergency .

That means an extra day in our new favourite town this side of ST. JOHN'S Newfoundland , HOBART . In fact we liked it so much last night , we referred to it as HOGARTH more than once ; Glug , glug .
Hobart , home of the gorgeous red head , we reckon . The place is full of 'em . It's like a Dickensian orphanage for the step children of Kate Hepburn and Noddy Holder .
Moos beer v good , too . But there was a real battle between the local Cascade ( pale was best we thought ) and that wombat piss from up in Launceston , Boags ( which we seemed to enjoy a fair bit too ).
Can't say enough about the folks at The Republic Bar and their first class kitchen .

Hobart is going on the Bass Drum .

ps . The Aussie album was released yesterday through CODE ONE . 15 of the best , so far , with the dvd .

Rocky Balboa . I'm talking Golden Globe ; at least one of them Oscars .

Australia , day 2 . Or 3 ? We're not sure .
Not sure of anything . It's either 15 hours behind or nine hours ahead , exchanging the am and the pm .

Vancouver seems a long time ago now . And Toronto's snow delay has faded from grey to ... gone . Halifax , well , that's in the blood . Who doesn't remember saying goodbye ? Farewell .
We landed in Honalulu in the middle of the night . Shuffled off the plane and were smacked in the face with a wet aloha . Very humid . Didn't stay long though , we took off right over the brightly lit city and headed south . Deep south . It was only ten more hours to Sydney .
Sydney ;
The people are friendly and the animals are not familiar in the least .
The temperatures range from very warm to hot .
People in Sydney are partial to red cars .
It's a birders paradise .
They found Plasketts luggage .

The first gig is now Saturday in Hobart , Tasmania .

Far out .